Cat Translations!
CAT PHRASE MEANS
miaowbu Feed me.
meeow Pet me.
mrooww I love you.
Miioo-oo-oo I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up.
mrow I feel like making noise.
rrrow-mawww Please, the time is come to tidy the cat box.
rrrow-miawww I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was practical.
miaowmiaow Play with me.
Miaowmioaw Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room?
mioawmioaw Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.
raowwwww I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.
mrowwwww I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.
Roww-maww-roww I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.
gakk-ak-ak My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.
mow Snuggling is a good idea.
moww Shedding is pretty good, too.
mowww! I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.
Miaow! Miaow! I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate.
Mraakk! Oh, small bird! Please come over here.
ssssRoww! I believe that I have found a woodchuck or similar animal.
mmmrowmmm It is certain that the best tasting fish is one you have caught yourself.
mmmmmmm If I sit in the sunshine for another hour or so, I think I shall be satisfied.
Mreoaw Please ask room service to send up another can of tunafish.
Mreeeow Do you serve catnip with that?
mroow I have forced my body into a tiny space in order to look cute. How'm I doin?
Miaooww! Mriaow! Since you are using the can opener, I am certain that you understand the value of a well-fed and pampered cat. Please continue.
 

 

CAT COMMANDMENTS
 

  1. Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
  2. Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
  3. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off of the roll.
  4. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor, as thou art not transparent.
  5. Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
  6. Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
  7. Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
  8. Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's lap region.
  9. Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
  10. Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
  11. Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou will fall in and trap thy self.
  12. Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat, just as thy human is sitting down.
  13. Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 am.
  14. Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
  15. Thou shalt not trip thy human even if they are walking too slow.
  16. Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in the house.
  17. Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
  18. Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded

 

 

 

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